Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Randomize
