I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I cannot find my penis.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
