Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
