all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
