love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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