I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
