I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
You have to summon your inner elephant
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
whose parrot is this?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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