if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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