I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
