I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
