Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
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