mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Randomize
