his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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