Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
