Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize