You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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