a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
