So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
