On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
