it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
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