Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
