She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
