sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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