At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
Randomize