This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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