Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
it's great music for shaving your balls
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize