i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
