The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize