Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Randomize
