And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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