Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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