You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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