I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
