Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
