I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
