It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
