Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
