I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
You're like the curious george of whores
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize
