loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Randomize
