Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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