So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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