Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
