I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I just googled if crying burns calories
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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