9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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