go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
