Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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