She just used a chaser for red wine.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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