He told me they were just razor bumps!
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
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I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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