woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize