I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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