Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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