It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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