Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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