He had one of those small greek statue penises
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
