At least make sure they are 18
Why
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
