oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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