Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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