I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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