You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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