i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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