Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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