I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
