You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
