Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Someone signed my nipple.
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