Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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