Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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